I remember an experience I had a few years ago, while I was in law school. I was single to stupor (LOL) and at first, I was fine with it. However, a few months into my stay in law school, I started getting very dissatisfied. Law school was one hell of a place, and I wished I had someone special to pour my heart to, someone to listen to all my whining and complaints, someone to give a rundown of how my day went. I have a few female friends, but I didn’t always feel like talking to them. To make matters worse, it seemed like everyone around me was hooked. My Bunkie (bunkmate in the hostel) was engaged, my side (seat mate) in class was newly married and many others were getting hooked up. I didn’t know how it happened, but this intense desire to love and to be loved gradually took hold of me. I would carry my books to read but instead, your sister will start day dreaming of a future with an invisible man. (hehehehehehe) I slept with the thoughts of a man and woke up thinking about man. In fact, every fine Christian brother I met during that season became a potential. Funny abi? It didn’t take long before I started displaying some character changes. I became resentful, a little bit short tempered, worrisome and prayerless. I was no longer content with where I was and what I had. I wanted more.
One unforgettable morning, I woke up to have my quiet time (something I hadn’t done for days because I was busy thinking about man). I can’t remember the exact scripture I read, but as I closed my eyes to meditate, the Lord spoke to me and asked me a question. He said “why have you abandoned your first love? Am I not enough for you anymore?” In that moment, my life played back before my eyes and I realized how I had abandoned my one true love in my search for another love. Now don’t get me wrong. The desire to be loved is beautiful and it is not a sin to have such. However, it becomes dangerous when it becomes your sole goal, your ultimate target. Tears rolled down my eyes. It was because of this that I had gradually become resentful, short tempered and tensed.
That morning, God taught me the following lessons:
Dear single lady, once you commit your life to the Lord, He becomes your central focus. He doesn’t want to share His attention with another, so let your life revolve around God. Don’t attempt to share his space with another person.
God loves you very much and He has plans to give you His best, beyond what you can ever think or imagine (Ephesians 3:20, Jeremiah 29:11). His best includes a wonderful man who will help you fulfill God’s plan and purpose for your life. So, don’t run ahead of God. Wait on Him.
While you wait, just enjoy His love. Bask in it. You see those thoughts you feel like sharing with a man? Share it with your Lord. Have those exciting conversations with Him. You have 100% of His attention. Enjoy intimacy with the Holy Spirit. He longs for it.
If you do all these, by the time God gives you your man (if it is His will for you to get married), then it will be impossible to replace God with him. Surely, your prince charming will have a space in your heart, but God will still remain the center focus, the beginning and end of it all.
Finally, singleness is a gift. Maximize it while it lasts. If you do so, you will have a fulfilling single-hood, and a fulfilling married life.
In conclusion, my dear single lady, please make the Lord your all consuming passion. Lavish your love on Him. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. God is committed to you!