Read Episode 5 here
‘Look here Munachi’, Mummy Okoro continued. ‘As a young lady who loves God and wants to live for him, the most important thing to do is to find out your purpose in life. What has God created you to become? What has he sent you here on earth to do? What kingdom vision does he want you to pursue? What mark does God want you to leave on the sands of time?’
‘Do you know why it is necessary to get answers to these questions?’ She asked.
I shook my head.
‘It is necessary because once you know the direction your life is headed in, your focus will be narrowed. So also, it will help you streamline your choices in the aspect of marriage. Any brother that proposes to you will be scrutinized in line with that focus. Your purpose and vision will keep you in check, and any brother that does not match up to what God is showing you will be disqualified. Do you understand me?’ she questioned.
‘Your vision and purpose must be compatible with his. I am not saying you must have the same agenda in mind. What I am saying is that his vision must be wide enough and similar enough to accommodate yours. This is because one of the ultimate purpose of your marriage as a Christian is to establish God’s kingdom here on earth. You cannot fulfill that if you and your husband are running in parallel lines. Even the Bible says that two cannot walk together except they agree’.
I kept on nodding my head. Mummy Okoro was flooding my heart with so much light.
‘But mummy, Gozie is very caring and responsible. We also flow very well together. He is a good Christian too’.
‘That is good, but it is not the criteria in choosing a life partner. Even with all the dreams you have narrated, I am not satisfied. You see, dreams can be very deceptive when it comes to choice of a life partner, especially if you are already attracted to the person in question. So you have to be careful and be sure that it is God and not your emotions that is leading you’.
‘Munachi, you have the Holy Spirit as a believer. What is He saying to you? He will speak His mind if you are genuine about knowing His mind. What has He said to you concerning this?’
I took a deep breath. None of us said anything for a few minutes.
‘So what do I do now?’ I asked.
‘It’s simple. Go back to God again in prayers. Put aside whatever you think you have seen or heard. Start with praying to God to show you what purpose He has created you to serve on the earth. Ask him to reveal his vision and blue print for your life. It will not come at once, but as you press, He will reveal more and more of His mind to you’.
‘What…what… about Gozie?’ I inquired with a shaky voice.
‘You have to end the relationship’.
I frowned immediately.
‘Yes my dear. You have to end the relationship so that your heart can be focused. If you don’t, you will be seeking God with a divided attention and remember, the Bible says that it is only when your eye is single that your whole body can be full of light’.
A tear dropped from my eye.
‘Believe me dear’, she said as she touched my hand tenderly. ‘You need the space. You need the distance. You need the separation. It will help your heart remain clear, focused and without distractions’.
Another tear dropped. ‘Okay mummy’.
‘Though I am not happy that you didn’t tell me about this at the beginning, but I have forgiven you’, she said.
‘Thank you ma’
‘You are going to call him before the day ends and break off the relationship. Is that clear?’ she said again.
I nodded, even though I didn’t know how I was going to do that. I was too much in love with Gozie.
That evening, I attempted to call Gozie over ten times but I could not bring myself to do it. My heart was heavy and even though I saw a lot of wisdom in what my mentor had said, I wished I didn’t have to end this relationship.
Three days later, I finally summoned the courage to tell him. I had been avoiding his calls prior to this time. I dialed his number that night and he picked at the first ring.
‘Hello my angel. I’ve missed you so much,’ he said. His voice sounded very cheerful.
Tears came to my eyes and I couldn’t speak.
‘Hello, are you there?’
‘Yes’, I whispered.
He sensed something was wrong.
‘What is the matter angel? What happened?’
‘I can’t continue’, I said slowly.
‘Continue with what?’ he asked puzzled.
‘With this relationship’
He gave a short laugh. ‘That is a joke right?’
‘No Gozie. I am serious. I’m ending the relationship’. My heart beat furiously.
‘Why?’ He asked.
‘I am following instructions’, I replied.
‘Instructions?’ He said as he struggled to stay calm. ‘Whose instructions?’
‘It doesn’t matter Gozie’.
‘If it doesn’t matter, then why are you bent on hurting me?’ he asked, slightly raising his voice.
‘Do you think this is easy for me too?’ I fired back, equally raising my voice. Tears were already streaming down my face.
He was quiet for a while.
‘Your mentor told you to break up with me, right?’
I didn’t answer.
‘I knew it. Goodness why are you behaving like a baby Christian for God’s sake! Don’t you have a mind of your own?’
‘Gozie, I am answerable to her. I obey her instructions’.
‘You are not answerable to her or to anyone. You are answerable to God’.
‘How do you mean?’ I asked.
‘Look, it is only a baby Christian that obeys every single instruction that they are given. We that are matured do not answer to any man. We answer to God. It does not stop us from seeking elderly advice and guidance but when it is not in line with what we want, we discard them. Don’t you read your Bible Goodness? Didn’t you see where the Bible calls us “gods”? I have the mind of God, therefore I answer to no man’.
I was confused. Gozie’s teachings were always strange and worrisome.
‘Are you saying you don’t have a spiritual father or mentor or a discipler?’
‘I do my angel, but I am my own boss. I am not subject to any man’s feelings or opinions’.
I could detect a hint of arrogance in his voice.
‘You know what?’ he said. ‘I think you need some space. You need to put yourself together. I will give you two days to sort yourself out and I’ll call you. Remember that I love you so much, and heaven has sanctioned our union already. It will be foolish of you to throw it all away for nothing’.
I wanted to disagree but I couldn’t find my voice. Mummy Okoro had asked me to end the relationship and not to take a break.
‘Okay’, I said quietly.
‘That’s my queen. I will miss you o. Take good care of yourself, okay?’
‘Okay’, I said as I ended the call.
That night, I had a dream. I was in a dark store house, unsure of what to do when a man appeared before me. He was surrounded by light and he beckoned on me to follow him. As I followed him, my path became clearer. Each step I took became stronger. The light from his appearance made my view very bright. I was still following until I woke up. It became very clear what I had to do.
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