Read Memoir of a Christian Lover Girl Here
I could feel the tension immediately I stepped into the room. Tito was lying on her bed, facing the wall while Tega was standing before the dressing mirror, humming and applying finishing touches to her make up. I already knew they just had another quarrel. I sighed.
‘Good afternoon everyone’, I greeted. Tito glanced at me briefly and then faced the wall. Tega pretended she did not hear me. I sat on my bed and began to unbuckle my sandals.
‘Where are you off to?’ I asked.
‘To see my boyfriend’ she responded, smacking her lips.
Tito hissed loudly. Tega looked at her and laughed.
‘It is paining some people that they don’t have boyfriend to visit o. Boring old hag’.
Tito sprang up from the bed immediately.
‘Tega, I am warning you in this room. Mind your business, do you hear me? Stop grieving the Holy Spirit in me. Not everyone is a prostitute like you’, she finished, eyeing her.
Tega smiled wickedly. ‘I prefer being a prostitute to being a bloody hypocrite like you. Look at her, looking all pious and sanctimonious whereas her heart is full of darkness and deceit’.
I cut in. ‘Tega that’s enough. Please let the argument end here’.
‘No, leave her. Let her keep ranting like a crazy fool’, Tito chirped.
I glanced sharply at Tito. ‘You sef it’s okay’.
Tega picked up her handbag and turned to me. ‘Stella dearie, I’m sorry I have to leave you with this pretentious and unstable fellow. Don’t miss me too much, okay? I’ll be back by Sunday’. With that, she sauntered out of the room.
‘I can’t stand that girl anymore’, Tito started. ‘Who does she think she is by the way? So rude, loud, uncouth and lazy. Sometimes I wonder how I ended up in the same room with her’.
I sighed as I opened the fridge to look for something to eat. ‘What is it again this time?’
‘Imagine! She brought her battalion of prostitute friends into this room and two of them had the guts to sit on my bed. Tega knows that I hate it when anyone steps into my corner when I’m not around, yet she allowed her friends to contaminate my bed with their ashawo buttocks’.
‘Tito! How many times have I told you that as a Christian, you must learn how to be accommodating? Why are you always picking quarrels with Tega over the slightest of issues? The other day, you both practically fought at the tap because she used your turn to fetch her water. Just the day before yesterday, you almost insulted each other to death because she sprayed your perfume in your absence. I know you have been keeping malice with her since that time’.
‘So you’re taking sides with her now, right? Stella, haven’t I made it clear in this room that I hate it when people touch my things without my permission? It drives me crazy!’
‘Do you think I like it either? I don’t, but I have learnt to overlook certain things. I have learnt that one of my responsibilities as a Christian is to be accommodating and not to go on a “fault finding spree” with anyone I come in contact with’.
‘Wait o, do you think Tega doesn’t do some annoying things to me too?’
‘Isn’t it obvious? She’s obviously in your good books’.
I smiled. ‘Tito, have you taken out time to really get to know Tega?’
Tito picked up her phone and started scrolling through.
‘Beneath all that hard and cold exterior, Tega is a soft, endearing lady who just wants to be loved. She is starved of love, and because she doesn’t want to appear vulnerable, she covers it up with a tough skin’.
‘Who told you that?’
‘The Holy Spirit. You see, when we first became roommates, Tega used to get on my nerves a lot because we didn’t understand each other. I had to pray about it and the Holy Spirit taught me what to do’.
‘What did He tell you?’
‘The Holy Spirit taught me that the biblical injunction to love is not restricted to only the household of believers. Owe no man nothing but love, remember? He told me to love her, irrespective of what she does. Love is one sure way to victory. It wasn’t easy at first o, because my flesh and human logic fought it. I mean, how do you love someone who is bent on annoying and frustrating you?’ Tito smiled.
‘Do you remember the day she poured water on my bed and didn’t even apologise?’ I asked
‘Yes, I remember. You had to sleep on my bed with me because your mattress was soaked’.
‘I was very angry that day, but the Holy Spirit reminded me to walk in love. Love is not easily provoked, abi?’
Tito nodded. She was listening attentively now.
‘The Holy Spirit also taught me to overlook things that don’t matter. Sometimes, we just have to turn a blind eye for peace to reign. You must be wary of offenses, Tito. You don’t have to pick on every single wrongdoing. Enlarge your heart to make room for offenses, especially when dealing with unbelievers’.
‘But she keeps repeating the same offenses. How do I turn a blind eye to that?’
‘Let me ask me you a question. How many times have you prayed for Tega?’
Tito looked at me quizzically.
‘Yes. Have you taken out time to pray for her, instead of dragging and fighting her every chance you get?’
‘She doesn’t deserve my prayers abeg. She’s a prostitute! A liar and a…’
‘Stop it!’ I cut her short. ‘You think you were saved because of your acts of righteousness? You think you deserve the goodness and favour that you enjoy from God? What has come over you, Tito? Where is all this bitterness coming from?’
For once, Tito was quiet.
I spoke softly. ‘Tega needs your prayers, not your accusations. She needs love, not malice and opposition. She needs you to accommodate her, not resist her like she is the devil’s incarnate. Even God hates the sin and not the sinner. You are not more righteous than God so stop playing God. Accept her, love her and accommodate her and you’ll see positive changes in her. I applied this principle, and that is why it seems Tega and I are best of roommates.’
Tito sighed. ‘It is hard o, but I’ll try’.
I smiled. ‘That’s a good start. We’ll join hands and pray for her. We’ll also pray for God’s kind of love to envelop our hearts and cast out every root of bitterness, malice and pride. Love always wins, and Tega shall be won’.
‘Amen’, Tito murmured.
Romans 13:8- Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law (NKJV)
Hebrews 12:14- Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness, no one will see the Lord (NIV)
Ephesians 4:31-32- Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, as well as all types of malicious behaviour. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. (NLT)