Read A Friend Like You (1) here
Read Brother Kolade here
I was having my lunch, one week later, when Jessica walked into the room. She looked like she just had a stressful day.
“You’re welcome,” I greeted.
“Thank you,” she responded. She dropped her bag on her bed, pulled off her shoes and approached my bed where I sat.
“Amara,” she started. “I have been meaning to ask you but I didn’t know how to.”
She sighed and fiddled with the hem of her dress. “I’m really sorry for what I did to you. I’m so sorry.”
I smiled. “Jessica, how many times have I told you that I have forgiven you. I was hurt, no doubt, but I am not any longer. I have let it go, and I do not hold it against you.”
She sighed again. “Thank you. Has Jonathan called you yet?”
I shook my head. “I’ve tried calling him but he doesn’t pick my calls. I guess he’s still hurt. He said he needed space.”
She lowered her eyes. “It’s all my fault.”
“Don’t blame yourself,” I said firmly, taking a deep breath. “Don’t worry about Jonathan, he’ll come around. He just needs time to process the whole information. Not many guys will want to marry a lady like me, unless he is deeply convinced and assured,” I finished, pouring out water into a cup.
“I hope so,” Jessica muttered. “I sincerely hope so.”
That night as I lay on my bed, I thought about Jonathan again. I didn’t know what was running through his mind. Did he hate me now? Was he upset because I didn’t tell him of my past or because my past was horrible? What if he ended the relationship? What if he couldn’t bear to marry a murderer like me?
Once again, regret washed through my entire being. If only I had met Christ earlier. If only I had accepted his saving grace earlier than I did. If only I had lived a decent life. If only…
The Holy Spirit interrupted my thoughts. “If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature. Old things are passed away. Behold…”
“All things are become new,” I finished. The Scripture brought sudden peace to my soul, I could not undo my past, but I could create the future I earnestly desired.
Jonathan called me three days after that, and we met at a popular restaurant. I could notice the tired lines around his eyes as I sat opposite him, my mind whirring like an engine.
“How have you been?” He started.
I shrugged. “How have you been,” I asked in return.
He leaned into his seat. “Not good. But I’m better now.”
He signaled the waiter for two bottles of soft drink.
“Amara, if I tell you that the information I heard didn’t shake me, I’ll be lying. I mean, I couldn’t imagine that you’ve had it rough before coming to the Lord. To be honest, I questioned my convictions.” He paused.
“I understand,” I said. My stomach was knotted with tension as I continued. “It was the fear of your reaction that stalled me from opening up to you. I regret everything I did in the past, giving my body to men in exchange for money that didn’t add any value to my life.” I lifted up my eyes to meet his gaze.
“I regret it, but I can’t undo it.”
He was silent for a minute. “I know. That was why I went back to God. I laid my heart bare before him. I was confused and afraid. Confused because God didn’t give me a hint about this part of you, and afraid because I didn’t know what the future held for us.”
He took my hand in his. “It was a tough one. So many negative thoughts played in my head, until I rebuked them and caused myself to be still in order to hear God.” He paused again and I stared at the untouched bottle of coke before me, eyes burning with hot tears.
“God came through for me. He calmed my heart. He dispelled my fears. He assured me that He was part of this journey and so I have nothing to be scared of.”
I didn’t know I was holding my breath until I heard his last sentence. I let out a long breath.
He squeezed my palm. “Amara, you’re pure gold. Right now, your past is inconsequential. What matters now is the present and the glorious future which the Lord is bringing us into. I was offended, but not any longer. Like Apostle Paul, let’s forget what is past of focus on the high calling of God upon our lives.”
A tear slipped down my cheeks. How blessed I was to have Jonathan in my life!
“Thank you,” I whispered in a broken voice. “This means so much to me. May God be glorified in our lives.”
“Amen,” he responded with a wide grin. My heart melted and I smiled too.
“One more thing,” he said. “I want you to forgive Jessica for betraying your trust. I’m pleading on her behalf.”
I chuckled. “There’s no need to. I have forgiven her already. I hold nothing against her.”
“Really? You’re truly an Angel then.”
I raised my eyebrow. “Angel without wings?”
We both burst out in laughter and then fell silent. He looked into my eyes and said,
“God shall do great and mighty things through us. Our home shall be God’s dwelling place, and our lives shall be his mighty instrument.”
“I believe,” I said softly. “I believe.”
Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you- Ephesians 4:32 (NLT)
For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:21